I Trust You. I Just Don't Trust These Females
| Trust Issues |
How many of us have heard that one before?
Perhaps you've had this conversation. You may have a friend who went through it, or even saw it on some reality TV show. It's a conversation that many couples have, especially when they are dysfunctional. There is usually some situation or incident that sparks up this conversation about trust. Perhaps the boyfriend or husband is about to have a night out with the fellas. Maybe he has some sketchy activity in his phone or DMs. Or, maybe he works very closely with a coworker at the job, and it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable. Whatever the scenario, this is one of those lines that is pulled from the relationship playbook when there is a trust issue. "I trust you. I just don't trust these females." Let's examine it though. Does it make sense? Is it really trust if there are so many things put into question?
Typically, when a woman makes this statement, there are several scenarios that could be at play. She may have been cheated on before, and now she's paranoid. She, being a woman, may "know how women operate" and not have any trust in them. Or, perhaps she was once that woman who seduced a "good" man into infidelity and knows the "power" that women possess over men. There are so many situations and stories that can have us walking on eggshells, but if a woman really claims to trust a man, should all of these circumstances matter?
Logically speaking, if she genuinely trusts her boyfriend or husband, it shouldn't matter what type of external circumstances or people are around him. Kim Kardashian or Beyonce' could be working late nights with him at the job, but there should be no issue if she really trusts him. Right? So what is going on behind the scenes when a woman makes this statement? Is it an issue with the faithfulness of the man? Is it an issues with other women? Or, is she just paranoid?
| Paranoia or Discernment? |
Today, the pastor of my church prophesied to me, and a part of that word was for me to trust God. Obviously, it got me thinking about the level of trust I have towards God. (Even writing that, I'm asking, should there even be "levels" of trust when it comes to God? Either you trust Him or you don't.) Anyway, as I meditated on this, I started thinking about the areas of my walk where I might not be trusting God like I should. When I thought about it, many of my issues weren't with God, but more about the people that I encounter during my walk.
I'm going to just come right out and say it (and I say this respectfully). Sometimes I get frustrated with the fact that God chooses to use people along our walks. It's not about me disliking people or not wanting to receive from another person. Instead, it's more about the level of deception in the church world. There are so many false prophets and false teachings around that it sometimes makes it hard for me to receive from people. In a perfect world, you'd be able to walk into any church with a cross on it and worship freely, but there are so many strange spirits floating in these buildings that it's dangerous. So, as I thought more about this, I kind of arrived at this conclusion: "Lord, I trust You. I just don't trust these people." Sound familiar?
Well, the question now becomes: If I really trust God, shouldn't I trust where He is leading me and the people He surrounds me with? The bible does make it clear that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. Another scripture says that a man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. That's good news, but wait... Am I a good man? Does my heart have the right focus? I should at least trust the discernment that God has given me to judge all things spiritually. Do you see my challenge with this? Sometimes I wonder if I am being paranoid or if I am just exercising discernment.
| Be Not Deceived |
All throughout the Bible, we are constantly told to be not deceived. Jesus even warned us to beware of false prophets. He said that they love to disguise themselves in sheep's clothing even though they are actually ravening wolves. The scriptures even say that these false prophets will increase in the last days. So, I struggle balancing between heeding these warnings vs. trusting God to order my steps.
Let me be clear. I have found a few ministries that I find to be very sound. I'd even go as far to say that I trust them, but these are few and far between. I believe that my challenge arises when I am not in total agreement with what's being taught or what's going forth. Maybe a church is too charismatic. Maybe a church is not charismatic enough. Maybe we have some doctrinal differences such as holidays, or the rapture, or tithing, or Oneness vs. the Trinity.
I think it's important for us to know our deal breakers. There are so many denominations and teachings that it can be frustrating. Even though the scripture says that we are to all speak the same things and come into the unity of the faith, that's just not how it is right now. Scripture says that two can't walk together unless they be agreed. So, we have to seek the Lord to know who we should be walking with and for how long.
| Conclusion |
Much like the woman who claims to trust her man, but not women, I believe there are several things at play with me. One, is me being a human and knowing that humans are flawed, whether it be malicious or out of ignorance. Two, honestly, is trust issues that need to be worked out of me. I'm generally skeptical of most things and people. I scrutinize everything, which is good, but needs to be kept at a proper balance. Three, I've seen and experienced deception first hand, and it has affected my outlook on ministers. Some of it is justified. Some of it may be overthinking.
One thing I know is that God is not the problem. He is faithful and He is perfect in all of His ways. There is nothing flawed about how He chooses to direct us, regardless of how I feel about it. Jesus said that His sheep know His voice and a strange voice, they will not follow. Ultimately, knowing the Lord's voice is the anchor that will keep us in perfect peace. It's cultivating a solid relationship and prayer life with the Lord that keeps us on the right path. If I say that I really have faith in God and I really trust Him, then it shouldn't matter about the people that He chooses to use. Oftentimes, He will bring people around us for different reasons that we won't understand until later. My prayer is that my faith is strengthened enough to realize that God wants what's best for me and will keep me on the right path even if I make a wrong turn somewhere. That's real trust. Faith over fear.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.